How to win at competitive boardgames

Be polite.

Play quietly.

Don’t openly discuss your plans.

Build up your base.

Let the other players get into a feud.

Ensure no resource track is being left behind.

Act as though you are not really paying attention.

Watch everything.

Subtly remind opponents of all the slights they have made against each other.

Remember to keep track of everyone’s points.

Watch as your foes enter into a war of mutual annihilation.

Capitalise on their weakness.

Crush them.

Surge to victory.


Bathe in their tears.